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"If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself and a year later for staying when things are not better."

Oprah Winfrey-

Philanthropist, Humanitarian, and Business Mogul

I have a firm belief that we have the answers to most challenging questions within ourselves. We often solicit the advice from some close friends or even work associates. Their words tend to be encouraging and somewhat unbiased. In short, their quick phrases of wisdom are constantly padded which reads nice and definitely untrue. Certain issues are safe to discuss amongst others, such as careers or even wardrobe tips (to a certain degree). However, relationships skirmishes are better suited for those involved. Remember, one who assumes the role as an advisor, should become cautioned of the weight it carries.

Today, women are including the concept of being a single-mother-with a career, as a goal within their five year plan. Results from public surveys, cite the fear of rejection and the exposure to undesirable-conversations in relations to men, as contributing factors. Women that are not well-informed often internalize the bad feedback. Ironically, the wonderful attributes are rarely mentioned. In the end, males retain the ascribed position of a chauvinist, a womanizer, and the inheritance of being emotionally unavailable.

Psychoanalyst, Erikson documented that humans develop through a series of stages and conflicts. His evidence concluded that our brain reaches concrete formation between the ages of 9 and 10. He studies were somewhat controversial soon after, he characterized the males to be slow in maturation in comparison to females. From my observation, his theory has much validity because of the female's ability to exude emotions in a public setting. It takes strength to own that type of mood while sinuously remaining composed. In fairness, men have the wherewithal to be great businesspersons, an amazing friend, or even the best father in the world. What they often lack is ambition to self-disclose.

I have a diverse group of friends in which women are the majority. Our dialogue over the years has grown in length with compassion and depth. Secretly, I consider them teachers, if not spiritual guides. Their trials in life are rich and complex..

Each one of these women has the composition to lead as incredible role-models. Oddly enough, many of them have never met, yet their conversations are similar. Collectively, they refer to the years of 30 and beyond as defiant.

"Once people have established their identities, they are ready to make their long-term commitments to others. They become capable of forming intimate, reciprocal relationships (e.g. through close friendships or marriage) and willingly make the sacrifices and compromises that such relationships require."

Erik Erikson, renowned-psychoanalyst

Erikson describes the stage of Love: Intimacy vs. Isolations (ages, 19-40) as a life altering event. He describes the woman as being passionately-focused on obtaining all things essential for a prosperous life: a husband and child. My mother often referred to the ages after 30 as "an urgency" which is widely known as the Biological Clock phase. Regardless of demographics, the stories are similar.

Yes, women are having children as they enter their 40's and we are aging with gentleness due to amazing diets along with product advancements.

I would not recommend remaining in a relationship that has not been validated-personally and professionally, after a year and a half. If you recognize that, your relationship has not moved to that solid level of progression, then abort mission and move on. I strongly believe that you should never dispense with the ideals of what you deemed important, as a young girl. Being a prisoner, to a dead conversation has the capacity to transform your life into a promising thriller .

Self- fulfillment is a matter of choice. The direction is optional.

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Disclaimer:

PS. I am not a licensed professional. I have done numerous studies and taken a number of classes in psychology, as well as sociology. This was meant for women who desire the concept of a nuclear family in which they view as a positive addition to their lives. An addition to be valued as swell cherished. There is happiness in all life choices.

References

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